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Excerpt Monday

April 13, 2009

As part of Romance Diva’s “Excerpt Monday”, here’s an excerpt from my current WIP, A Soul for Trouble:

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t toss you out on your ungrateful ass right now?” Hal said as soon as she set the pitcher down.

Arden brushed past him and cut a slice of apple pie. “Because you need someone like me to keep the kooks happy.”

Before he could get another word in, she went back into the main room and placed the pie on the old man’s table.

“Wh- what kind of pie is it?”

“Apple. Eat up; you need to put some meat on your bones before winter comes.”

“My favorite. Would you care to sit at my table?”

She looked over her shoulder. It sure beat going back to the kitchen and facing Hal’s wrath. “For a few minutes.”

The mass of wrinkles in his face parted to reveal a smile. “Thank you.”

She sank into a chair next to him and watched as his shaking hand stabbed the flakey crust and dug into the sweet golden filling. A moan of a pleasure escaped from his lips with the first bite. “Where are you from, old man?”

He stopped chewing. “A bad place.” Then the muttering returned.

So much for trying to find out more about him. At least he seemed to be enjoying the pie. One more thing to point out to Hal — she made all the food, and the customers raved about it. She doubted Jenna could see past her abundant bust line to even see what she was preparing. But that was how it worked. She did all the cooking and cleaning; Jenna relaxed all morning and warmed guests’ beds in the evening.

The fork rattled against the empty plate, but the old man pressed his fingers against the crumbs, scooping up every last morsel. She reached for the plate. “Enjoy it?”

His hand clamped over her, but it didn’t tremble like before. “Very tasty,” a deep voice murmured.

Her breath caught in her throat. He didn’t sound like the same person anymore. She tried to pull her hand away, but he held on. Her skin crawled from the contact. This was what she got for being nice to a poor old man.

“Almost as tasty as its maker.” The yellow-green halo in his eyes glowed in the darkness. His finger stroked the inside of her palm. “Such a pretty little girl, you are.”

“And you’re creeping me out. Let go.”

He threw back his head and laughed. Behind him, the hiss of a sword being pulled from its scabbard filled her ears between the throbs of her pulse. “I want to stay with you a bit longer,” the dark voice said from the old man’s mouth.

Arden focused the fire in her mind, but fear held her back. She didn’t need to use her magic in full view of everyone in Wallus. “I mean it, you don’t want to piss me off,” she whispered.

The grin fell from his face, and his eyes bulged. He slumped forward onto the table, revealing the dagger protruding from his back. Grey stone replaced his flesh, spreading out from the hilt like ink on paper.

She screamed, and pandemonium erupted in the inn. Customers bolted from their chairs and ran for the front door into the night.

A strangled cry gurgled from his throat, but his hand still clamped around hers in a rock-hard vice. As the stone encased his face, a green mist rolled out of his nostrils and filled the space between them. Cold terror prickled along her spine, and dark shadows flittered on the rim of her peripheral vision. What in the name of the three moons was going on here?

The mist drew closer, filling her mouth and nose. She gagged and tried to pull away from it, but it surrounded her like a shroud and choked her. Her lungs screamed for air. The mist poured into her when she drew a shaky breath. Every muscle in her body tightened, and the room went black.

______________

Check out other excerpts at:

T. Sue VerSteeg
Maureen McCarrie
Vivienne Westlake
Jeannie Lin
Bria Quinlan
M. Berthier
Cynthia Justlin
Ella Drake
Selah March
Kinsey Holley
Becca Sheridan-Furrow
Kirsten Saell
Evie Byrne
Kate Willoughby
Eden Bradley
R. F. Long
Stephanie Adkins
Gina Ardito
Lynne Chandler
Rose London
B. E. Sanderson
Babette James
Amber Gilchrist
Isabelle Santiago
Annie Nicholas
Kaige

22 comments

  1. Interesting excerpt! Also like how you put diva links in the tags–I’ll have to try that.


    • Thanks, Becca — I haven’t had time to check out everyone’s links yet, but I will once I mail off a partial request I got this morning. :D
      And tags are great because it helps people find links to other sites as well as your own. I recently got “tag happy” and seen my blog hits double.


  2. OOOOh I hope this is what you will be working on in the crit group. I want to see how this plays out.


    • Thanks, Pixydust. Yep, this is what I’ll be sending out tomorrow for the crit group. I’ll swing by later today and read your excerpt.


  3. Oooo, good one. I definitely want to read more.


    • Thanks, B. E. I’ll swing by your site later today and read your excerpt.


  4. (O_O)

    Wow!


    • Thanks, Anthony. This WIP seems to be off to a good start. Now, just to finish it — I’m about 40% done.


  5. Way to leave a person hangin! WOW! Uh, more please? :)


    • LOL, Sue. But I thought that was the whole idea of an excerpt — to whet the appetite and make the reader crave more. :twisted:
      Thanks for the compliment!


  6. Ooh, this is really interesting. I am completely curious about this story now and want to read it. Nice excerpt.

    http://ambergilchrist.wordpress.com/


    • Thanks, AJ. I’ll be hading over to your site as soon as I drop off a few things at the post office and see if I can land some marked down peeps and reese’s peanut butter eggs at the grocery store. ;)


  7. Wow! I never saw that coming til I was sucked in. Awesome work!


    • Thanks, Gina. Here’s to hoping I can keep readers sucked in. :D


  8. Nice work! I’d love to see this when it’s finished. (Though it has sort of put me off apple pie…)


    • Thanks, Evie. I didn’t intend to make the apple pie repulsive, just the creepy old man.
      And I’m working on it — I’m about 40% done. Now if real life will quit shoving me around…


  9. I love the hook! Makes me want to read more and find out what’s going on. Great job.


    • Thanks, Ella. :D


  10. Great excerpt! It leaves you hanging on and anxious to read more. :) Awesome!


    • Thanks, Stephanie. :D


  11. Whoa! Very interesting. Didn’t see that coming! lol. Good job.


    • thanks, Babette! :D



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